BlackBerry: It's full of pits

Last week, I received a rejection email from BlackBerry. At first, I couldn’t recall having applied there, but, after digging through my email folders, I eventually discovered that the rejection was for a job for which I applied way back in 2015.

The tardiness of this email combined with its piss-poor composition compelled me to have a little fun at their expense...

_______

BlackBerry Corporation

ATTN: CEO / Executive Team

6700 Koll Center Parkway, #200

Pleasanton, CA  94566

Ladies/Gentlemen:

I am writing in regards to the rejection email I received on May 11, 2017 to an application I submitted in July 2015 (see attached printout).

The grammatical errors in this email are not only shameful but, quite frankly, disturbing. These include the following:

“Thank you for your recent application in regards to the Creative Services Designer position.”

I find your definition of “recent” to be bizarre. I applied for this position in July 2015. I do not consider two years ago as "recent."

“Your application has been reviewed by our Recruitment team, and although your talent is valued...”

Any high school graduate should know that the comma clearly belongs after “and,” as in,

“…although your talent is valued…”

This is a strange choice of words, especially considering that you saw nothing of “value” in my professional background.

“…it has been decided not to proceed with your application.”

The second half of this phrase is missing the subject of the infinitive + verb “to proceed.” The correct wording would be,

“We hope that you will remain interested in working at BlackBerry and consider other suitable opportunities that arise in the future.”

It is quite presumptuous of you to assume I would still be interested in your corporation after two years.

I have concluded that, based on the terrible composition of this email combined with the fact that nobody from your organization even reviewed my application (my portfolio did not receive a single visitor from any BlackBerry IP address), BlackBerry only seeks to hire the most uneducated and inept of applicants. This could possibly explain why BlackBerry has been rendered irrelevant and obsolete in the tech world.

________

I included a printout of the offending rejection email, onto which I scribbled a note saying that I do NOT want to receive any correspondence or apology from their recruitment team as this letter is NOT addressed to their recruitment team. If BlackBerry's Executive Team doesn't think it's their job to care about what's going on in their company, then their problems go even further than what I've heard in tech news. It will be interesting to see whether they'll honor my request to NOT just drop my letter into an interoffice envelope addressed to "Recruiting."