Fake job alert: Emulate, Inc.

Emulate, Inc., advertised this job on StinkedIn back in June 2016:

Wow, not even 100 applicants. Must have been a slow week. No problem, just advertise it again -- and they did, two months later on July 11:

Ah, 136 applicants this time, much better! That means they now have 226 applicants, imagine how much fun they're having not bothering to look through all those resumes (yes, mine is one of them, *sigh).  

Seriously, I really would love an explanation as to what the hell is going on here.

EDIT, 10/31/16: They've recently posted a similar design job. How nice to see that they've only received a whopping EIGHT applicants over four days.

EF Education First: Ping-pong and foosball and beer, oh my!

File this one under “NO, Dan Lyons, blatant agediscrimination is NOT diminishing in Stinkassachusetts.”

Same story as always…I applied for many jobs at this company over the past few years, never earning so much as a phone screening. Back in October 2016 they advertised on LinkedIn for a designer, note the massive number of applicants:

That same month, I stumbled upon one of their job postings on Venturefizz…

No further commentary really needed here.

Further evidence that Boston is a true shithole full of lowlifes

As if we even needed any further evidence of that:

Former HubSpot chief marketing officer Mike Volpe was hired by cybersecurity software firm Cybereason for the same role. In July 2015,Volpe was fired by HubSpot, which sells marketing software, in connection with attempts to get a hold of a draft manuscript of a book about the company, Dan Lyons’s “Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble.”

Continuing from the BostInno link at the end of the paragraph:

Volpe's firing prompted a federal criminal investigation that eventually closed with no charges being filed, according to The Boston Globe. FBI records, which did not identify anyone, later revealed that there were allegations about "multiple failed attempts to manipulate and extort people." The FBI report also mentioned "tactics such as email hacking and extortion."

But despite Volpe's firing, many in Boston startup's community have rallied around Volpe. In the year since he was fired, Volpe has become an advisor and investor for other startups, including one founded by a former Kayak employee called Drafted. He recently started an angel investment group called Operator.VC with Yoav Shapira, a fellow former HubSpot employee who now works at Facebook's Cambridge office. He also ran a well-attended event in June called Growth Camp. 

My LinkedIn network remains full of poor schmucks who have been rendered to the "unemployable" category for the mere crime of turning "too old" (still unsure where that age begins...is it 35 now?). Not only do we have the age factor held against us, but we are judged by hiring managers on everything from a one-month resume gap to "why did you leave your last job?" Try saying "I was fired" like this Volpe dude was and see where that gets ya.

This guy wins Sleaze of the Year Award, but his career remains unscathed.

Got that, folks? In Boston, it doesn’t matter how sleazy you are. Just fall under the “young entrepreneur” label and you can get away with anything, and everyone will keep kissing your ass. (That anybody would trust their cybersecurity, of all things, to this guy is further evidence that this world has gone mad.)

Queen Associates

I discovered a new clown company posing as a “recruitment firm” on LinkedIn (seems that’s all LinkedIn is good for). They advertised for a “motion graphics designer” position on August 9. I foolishly submitted my resume (and so did 21 other fools – which is quite a low number for a Boston job posted on LinkedIn…am I late in learning that this company isn't to be trusted?). One month later, they advertised an identical position again on LinkedIn, the only difference being the title now had the word “senior” in it. I decided to send these clowns a little email:

When I came across your latest job posting on LinkedIn I almost made the mistake of applying for it. Luckily, I discovered that I had already applied for the identical position you advertised one month earlier (August 9) before making the same mistake twice. The stat at the bottom of that page says you received 21 applicants (including myself), so why you would need to re-advertise the same job when you clearly received a good pool of candidates truly puzzles me. A reputable legitimate recruiter would have contacted every one of these applicants regardless of their qualifications to establish a professional relationship with them and, thus, avoid the need to dump any similar future job postings on these useless impersonal job boards. This is called "networking." I wonder how many of those applicants did your recruitment team bother to contact -- I didn't even receive an acknowledgment (and I'm certain that I won't receive a reply to this email).

I don't take kindly to companies who solicit my personal information for ulterior motives. I have added you to my list of joke "recruitment agencies" to ignore.

Here’s the hilarious reply I received from their “president:”

Your email was forwarded to me, and I wanted to take a moment to respond to you.  I am truly sorry that you’ve been disappointed by the experience you had in posting to one of our jobs.  As much as we strive to make contact with each of our applicants, sometimes a mistake is made.  I apologize that you were not contacted.

As a result, I am working with our HR Director and Recruiting team to talk about ways that we can ensure every candidate receives at a minimum, an acknowledgment of their application.  As you can imagine, with the hundreds of openings and thousands of candidates we encounter each month, it is difficult to provide the level of interaction we would truly like to.

If you have any additional concerns, please feel free to reach out to me directly.  As the President of the firm, our reputation is of utmost importance to me, so please accept my apologies that we missed the mark on providing you a good experience. 

Sincerely, 

Robin Pugh

Hmmmm…no mention of WHY they needed to advertise the same job twice in a job market saturated with designers (she even admits they get thousands of applicants -- so, maybe dumping jobs on job boards like LinkedIn isn't the best way to recruit?)…no feedback as to why I didn't qualify for the job posted...pretty much no mention of anything really, here. Like I said, just another bunch of fakers in a seriously messed up job market.

Babson College

In May 2016 I applied for a “senior instructional multimedia designer” position they advertised. I applied, and heard nothing. I then foolishly applied for a “multimedia and conceptual designer” position they advertised the following August. On October 4, I received their rejection email for the job I applied for back in May. As this was from what appeared to be a functioning email address (careers@babson.edu), I replied back: “I applied for this job IN MAY. That it took your HR department FOUR MONTHS to reject me is nothing short of pathetic. Don't bother sending me a rejection email come January for the multimedia design job for which I foolishly applied last month (and how very bizarre that I didn't even qualify for a telephone screening despite my background in eLearning).” No response received.

I was ready to forget about this latest bunch of nonsense when the first job from May appeared on LinkedIn. I sent them another email (this time to the address shown on their website, hr@babson.edu): “In regards to this position which was first advertised in May...I had assumed you filled this role long before I received your rejection email (forwarded below), but after stumbling across it *again* on LinkedIn, I see that it remains advertised on your website. This is disgusting. Either your hiring team is grossly incompetent (which I stated in my previous email below) or this job is fake, posted to harvest applicants' personal information which you can then sell to the highest bidder (which is what I am now beginning to believe). Shame on you.” Again, no response received.

As of today, October 9, the job (which is obviously fake) remains advertised on their website:

I think this makes for a mighty fine lesson to their undergraduates (each paying $60K/year to attend) in how they should expect to be treated as job applicants after graduation by potential employers.

Interactions LLC

This dinky little company in Franklin, Stinkassachusetts, advertised for an “interactive and print designer” in September 2016. Once again, I encountered an online job application that was both frustrating and downright offensive.

First, the application was very poorly designed in that anyone self-employed will have difficulty completing the work history fields of "company name/address" and "manager" (remember, we’re in a “gig” economy now, so why aren’t companies adjusting their job applications to reflect this?). 

And then they did what so many of these dumb online applications do, which was to demand references right up front. Now that I know these companies are posting fake jobs in order to collect and then sell our personal information, I absolutely refuse to disclose the intimate details of my clients/colleagues. That would just be stupid on my part. They’ll get this very personal information after they’ve met with me and are ready to offer me a job (cue the laughter).

Finally, we get to the offensive part. They demand to know what YEAR I graduated college.

Now, for what other purpose would they demand this information other than to reject me for being too old? Combined with the job description requirements of a mere “two to three years of experience,” it is clear that they are only interested in recruiting someone under the age of 25.

I went ahead and submitted my application merely as a joke. Sure enough, within four days I received their darling rejection email, “At this time we are electing to proceed forward with candidates that more closely align with the requirements of this role.” I have 18 years of experience, so I’m pretty sure the “requirements” they are referring to have nothing to do with skills.

Here’s where it gets funny. They state on their website that they “turn frustrating customer care experiences into productive conversations.” I decided to test this claim, and sent them a nice little message via their Facebook page, “I’d like to share with you what a FRUSTRATING experience I had completing your online job application for the Interactive/Print Designer role…” and referencing the above quote about "turning frustrating customer care experiences into productive conversations." Did they seize the opportunity to transform this frustrating experience into a productive conversation? Nope, I received no response or acknowledgement whatsoever, which just goes to show how skilled this company is in "turning frustrating customer care experiences into productive conversations.” These folks never learned that every job applicant is a potential future customer.

A quick peek at the reviews on their aforementioned Facebook page reveals a seriously rotten company…

Of course, I really don’t think there are any non-rotten companies in Stinkassachusetts.